LANGUAGE

I just came back from having coffee at a friend’s place. He called me few hours ago and asked me to come along for coffee at his friend’s place as he didn’t want to go alone. I said…"okay, just pick me up as I am lazy to drive!”. “No worry” and so he came and picked me up. I asked “why coffee so late”… it was like 11pm plus… He said just he needed to get some stuffs and may as well go. Fair enough. By the way, my friend is an Indonesian name Vino.
I didn’t know he was going to our friend’s place, I mean I know his friend. It was Edward. Anyhow, at Edward’s place, we had coffee and chat with few of his friends and housemates. One of his friends came with a question and asked me and Ray, as we are Asians, he wanted to know our native language, so we responded it is Bahasa, he thought we are Chinese haha… I said yes as many Chinese around in Australia. He just said that, he has many Asian friends as well. He said no offence it is just that he said most Asians like to converse with each other in their own language. I was like… huh… nope… I mean I am comfy with English. And I asked him why. He observed that Vino and me, we both communicated in English. I was like yes as that the language we both comfortable with. He said that when he hangs out with his Asians friends, they all talked in their languages and he didn’t understand, and he thought it was rude. And he couldn’t understand what they were talking about. I just smile… I told him, I always have the principle that I will talk in a language that everyone understand as I know the feeling. When I was younger, I mixed with lots of Chinese in my school. I don’t know Chinese language so I understand, but I was lucky as some of my Chinese friends would understand that I was around and hence we will talk in English, although not everyone.
Well, I know this is a sensitive issue. I know like in a group when like many one person doesn’t know the language, I mean minority so that’s why maybe everyone else will talk in their language, but for me, it is not nice, as the person won’t know what the group would talk about and the person would feel left out. It would make one person to feel uneasy etc. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes.
I have experience in that area, it used to bother me lots but I learned from it like… well, I wont hang out more with the group hahaha… I mean fair right.. like why should you go in a group and yet you will feel left out and would not even know what they were talking about. I mean after all, it is a group outing.
My friends back in Ireland, we all agreed that despite like in a group, there were 7 of us Malay and one Irish, we would forbid us from saying anything in Malay as we thought it was rude and we all would converse in English and so everyone knows and join in the conversation etc. It wasn’t hard but some people just cant. I am not to judge. It is just where I came from, we all speak in a language where everyone can join in. Hehehe…
I think Edward’s friend was just trying to ask as he couldn’t understand was it hard to speak and converse in a language that he understands while he was around them. I can relate and understand his point. I won’t comment more. But for me, as long as it is me, my friends won’t have to worry, as I have my principle. Like if I have kieu with me, I won’t speak other language, even if they asked me in Malay, I would respond in English as I have so much respect for her. I won’t want her to feel different etc. For me, this is civil and it is part of civic course, proper behavior and conduct. It reminds me how Dianne always like “Ppl… English!” when with Alvin, Dixson around before hahaha…. When they talked in Chinese in front of her… classic! Well… its all up to you people, what you think about this issue… for me, I will stick to my principle that’s all!