MAHA MELIHAT - OPICK (FEATURING AMANDA)

"Seiring waktu berlalu
tangis tawa di nafasku
hitam putih di hidupku
jalani takdirku

tiada satu tersembunyi
tiada satu yang terlupa
segala apa yang terjadi
Engkaulah saksinya

reff:
Kau yang Maha Melihat
Kau yang Maha Melihat
Kau yang Maha Pemaaf
PadaMu hati bertobat

Kau yang Maha Pengasih
Kau yang Maha Penyayang
Kau yang Maha Pelindung
PadaMu semua bertekun

yang dicinta ’kan pergi
yang didamba ’kan hilang
hidup kan terus berjalan
meski penuh dengan tangisan

andai bisa ku mengulang
waktu hilang dan terbuang
andai bisa ku kembali
hapus semua pedih

andai mungkin aku bisa
kembali ulang segalanya
tapi hidup takkan bisa
meski dengan air mata"

HARAMKAH?

Well.. i am not talking about "hukum" here...... this is the song from KETIKA CINTA BERTASBIH 2... i must say a good movie... when i first watched the 1st installation i couldn't wait for the 2nd one... and well i found it today... well worth it! A very good movie... It is better than AYAT AYAT CINTA... for me la... but still both are great movie that people should watch!
here is a song by Melly... like always love Melly's song!!

"Haram haramkah aku
Bila hatiku jatuh cinta
Tuhan pegangi hatiku
Biar aku tak jadi melanggar

Aku cinta pada dirinya
Cinta pada pandangan pertama
Sifat manusia ada padaku
Aku bukan Tuhan

[1]
Haram haramkah aku
Bila aku terus menantinya
Biar waktu berakhir
Bumi dan langit berantakan

[2]
Aku tetap ingin dirimu
Tak mungkin hatiku berdusta
Hanya Tuhan yang bisa jadikan
Yang tak mungkin menjadi mungkin

[3]
Aku hanya ingin cinta yang halal
Dimata dunia juga akhirat
Biar aku sepi aku hampa aku basi
Tuhan sayang aku

[4]
Aku hanya ingin cinta yang halal
Ingin dia tentu atas izinnya
Ketika cinta bertasbih
Tuhan beri aku cinta ku menanti cinta"

AMAZING

Hey ppl..
as earlier i was saying that Brunei in fact is capable to produce artists of their own. As i was saying that now most of us listening to our own local artists and starting to support them. Anyhow last year i knw of this artist name Hill.. from Pelangi while i was driving while he was chosen as artist of the month for Pelangi. That he recorded a song with Samantha Mumba! i was wow... but never been able to find the song. Anyhow.. a fren recently gave me a link to his video clip... wow... i thought it was good!! come on a duet with Samantha Mumba and the clip well is brilliant and good quality. And what even amazing is that Mariah Carey had a cameo appearance in it! Well done!! Here is the link.. check it out!! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AxVqLKaEA0M)... i bet many ppl know... i m just slow! hehehe i m free now as resting so i was youtubing!
I urge u to check it out! And well... really... not even a top artist in Malaysia can get Mariah Carey to appear in their video clip!! hehehehe...

Hi ppl,
I feel much better today and my mood appeared better as well.. i need to chill and calm... i guess it is right that i need rest, my mind n my body need it... i know i been pushing myself too much... anyhow... nothing much just at home, resting and watched the dvd that i bought before but never had the chance to watch them... ya i need it... and i decided to off my mobile even it is on... i wont entertain... i mean if it is work related...
anyhow... at the moment i been listening to local songs... must say not bad! Way to go Brunei... although sound like indonesian songs at times but great!... til later!

PSYCHOLOGIST VS COUNSELOR

I just want to bring to attention here... about the title.. psychologist and counselor... i must say they are two distinct professions... psychologist are not counselor... i remember dr nadine frm my uni in oz... saying it is wrong to say that... as psychologist higher than counselor...yes psych do counsel... with therapy and treatment... call as therapist not counselor... and well when i said to ppl... i m a psychologist... ppl would be like oh kaunseling... i be like... if i can smack you i would! how degrading is that! anyhow... why i said this here is... i got applicant... whom i never know or at least have the courtesy to meet me and talk... and yet i am asked for recommendation... how can i recommend when i dont even knw the person... someone with no psych background and wanna join my unit... got master in counseling... and ppl just tot ya counseling... can buleh tu... how narrowminded... no psyc n wanna join.. Clinical Psych... WT... HR also called me and lucky HR shared my opinion... bukan apa i was told... kena attend urgently to this application (i never got any letter lang) ada org saja frwd CV thru email... (official ke tu, nda surat how to balas or reply hehehe so i didnt reply la) anyhow.. ya.. apparently family contacted Pehin la to ask so since that.. matter urgently to look into... i mean if qualified lain la... ane ermm... like i am a clinical psychologist i dont work at Physiotherapy dept... kan... anyhow..... i dont work at dental clinic... kan kan... heheh so i sound bitter here... just at times.. i am just frustrated as ppl dont knw... like i m not a psychiatrist... despite maybe ada persamaan tapi not... so likewise counselor is not psychologist... as simple as that... wat frustrated me as well... among us therapist... they also dont knw... tell you wat yg frwd me email was someone senior, a fren and therapist too... and yet that person also think counselor same as psychologist... how frustrating... ppl in our own world and area pun nda tau... let alone lay person out there!

I been given another 4 day MC... before by Dr Thazin as i was a bit asthmatic... two days rest and then when i tot i was well... i went a bit jogging... it was ok... but i didnt know... came back.., feel feverish, cold n flu... damn... so contact a fren... and given MC for 4 days... and today the whole day i was... like resting... i know i put something on my fb i wasnt thinking straight... well just for me to know... well like i say my blog is where i pour my heart... let me write here... wat happened... today went to RIPAS... to get my med n the cert... i dropped by to frwd to my kerani... but i didnt go up... fYI, my unit do have some disciplinary problem with attendance and all... but i knw we trying our best to perform here... anyhow... like always got ppl called n asked n complaint as no one around.. and well i m on MC... wat to expect... anyhow... i did ask my kerani..ada M ada keja... and she hesitated and after a while said.. "nda" ... i m like why hesitated... if out ke apa... could tell me terus wat... i wasnt satisfied... so i called H... n to be informed... "At bank.." and when i ask where M... H said... "oh ya with Me.."... and H said "Talk to u later... ask Kerani"... I was like... ya i just asked Kerani... and all she said "Nada"... wat the hell... and like... when i msg other satff... "Where"... got replied.. "Oh At computer room"... of course... i am like... the office is small... n yet asked 3 ppl 3 different answers! of course i smelled fish! one 'Nda', one kata "d bank" and one said "computer room"... when i replied back n said...weird... n said i just asked H said H with M at bank... and Kerani said "Nda"... and guess wat... the staff took about 11mins to reply... despite that the computer room is just next room.. to check wont even take 1 minute... i was fed up as no matter how hard i tried to make things better... do this rule.. make attendance...log book.... n still i cant believe ppl dont behave... and then when u tegur sikit ppl sound so offensive... its like dont ppl realise they make mistake... i knw i may not be a good head... but i m trying here... i am new... iatah wheni feel down like tis, i tot i asked opinion ke apa ke... but i dont knw why i dnt get reassurance and any assistance i need... walhal if it happened to others and they ask me i would enlightened them... bukan apa i tot two heads better than one... and like mayb i am not well i wont be thinking straight... but like i dont knw why... ppl keep looking at one flaw... u do many good n one mistake... ppl knw the mistake... i mean like M... i knw M made mistakes..a lot... but from my observation now... M is trying to make thing better... i knw not great but i salute the effort... and like i know many complaints... but most revert to M eventually... i feel sorry at times.. that ppl dont give chance if u made mistake...but i do knw at times... i m too soft.. but today i knw they something fishy... i mean even yesterday... someone told me seeing M's car at home afternoon time office hours... wat wonder me at times... ppl tip me wit tis info... wat the aim...i knw some for good... but always the bad thing saja... at times i knw my staffs dont take me serious.. they dont knw... ppl relay msg to me... even last time.... i was on leave... to the point when they referred patients to our clinic... i will know... i knw they call my clinic... n yet also they will sms me to inform me of the referrals... which was good lang as i keep track... as last time... it was good that i knw... as last time ya... if i didnt ask... no one would inform me abt the patient... and my kerani didnt write the referrals in our referral books despite kena called and my staff did see the patient. hard ya,... you may wonder why ineed to knw... i m the only clinical psych on ripas... so all patients i must knw so i can supervise them and if something not right,... i will be liable and being held responsible... thats why... none is licensed to practice aprt from me.. do i sound arrogant? i hope not but the truth... i knw i been complaining lately... i knw tis is reality... just that i feel i cant be at ease... mc ke leave ke always ada kena tfun... so today i actually off my phone.. i need rest.. am not well.... anyhow... i better get back to sleep now... til later! i hope ppl dont take it wrong... i do blogging to pour my heart out (like a diary) but i mean no harm... its like family... u get angry, argue but doesnt mean u r enemy ya... as you love each other thats why got conflict and all... as we need to adjust n compromise and also learn to knw each other...

I been given MC for 2 days... i know i am not that sick... just the throat is irritating me... a bit asthmatic and having the puff irritated my throat and causing it to sore... i took precautions but when i see Dr Tazin today... was not expecting any MC just for medications... and well Dr Tazin thought that i need rest as i appeared tired and very stress. I dont know maybe i am... i know i am tired... supervising a student now and supervising my new staffs and all administrative works. *sigh*.... maybe i need this short break... and now at home after resting, i tot lets blog!
Ya... when i checked my schedule last week... it started okay... just normal routine... MHU rounds... sent my staff and the student... and well i reviewed couple of patients in the wards... and well... afternoon... meeting for the service directory. That was monday... and did some reports and clinical notes write up. Tuesday, after allocating duties to all... i spend like from 9 til 11plus having meeting with Wan Hasliena and Sufinah for the career talk... phew... what a waste of my time really! meeting!! F*&^! and for the afternoon, attended briefing at the Health Promotion centre which took whole afternoon, was interesting but i had to leave as i have patient booked at 3.4pm... from HPC rushed back to RIPAS... ermmm....
On wednesday,i booked a couple appointments... as usual reports writing and supervising sessions with staffs and students... while waiting for patients! Patients turned late! Appointment at 9am turned at 10.45! wat the fuck! and the patient for 10am came at the same time and it was problematic. I tot as i needed to go wards i asked my junior to handle and take the case but since they are not experienced enough, i had to take the case... fear of walking! took ages to convince to even get out of the car... wanted me to consult in the car at parking lot!! WTH! came late n very problematic! and the 9am i had to turn down! and come next appointment!! thats for wasting my time! almost 2 hours late! reason... confused whose appointment! wat a reason! despite still managed to see my patients in the wards for review... and as usual afternoon, Stroke Round, mayb i was tired that i didnt listen well... 2 referrals... talking about depression and i wasnt responding when Dr Joseph talked abt it! Funny! well... after that supposed to have meeting for RIPAS gala nyte but i send my staffs... whom i was informed that they need more clear people to get involved as the one i sent seemed blurred! god ppl be more pro-active!!
Thursday... as usual... Rehab Rounds at 8am and then rushed to Obesity Clinic... had few patients... new and review and one was difficult... and took longer... almost an hour (as therapy normally just 45mins to 55mins) hehehe.... and well... afternoon... spent time at Editors Meeting with Dr Julaidi, Dr Haslinda, Dr Mawarni, Dr Alice, Burt and Lena with some administrative ppl... can you realised everyday is meeting!
And well come saturday... went MOH just to knw that meeting actually in afternoon, but i remember very well... when the person called... it was morning... went back to RIPAS and finished up some notes and reports that were pending... and well at 2pm, went MOH again just to know the meeting was canceled and postponed to Monday am... WT! waste of my time ya... back RIPAS n finished whatever needed to be finished... did the service directory editing... and ya got referral as well from ward 4.. was too tired to see, send my junior to see... n briefed b4 that...
And well... Monday first thing was meeting but i felt so tired and my throat was really irritating... so i waited for Mui and gave her all information and i left to go back to RIPAS... and looked for Dr Tazin... i know when i needed help... i m no superman! despite given MC i still managed to review 4 in-patients before heading back home. And when Dr Hjh Mawarni called in the afternoon while i was at home, i decided to ignore as i am on MC... i need my rest ppl! i just sent sms!
I just tot back ya... last week everyday without failed...meeting! and yet i still managed to supervise student and my staffs.... and i still see my out-patients and in-patients... i knw i must prioritize my patients... i dont knw... so ppl do u think i m burning out... to think about it... it is just new year!! and still nothing new about this... still the same! hehehe... k i m off to rest now again!!