Just a little update, AR really pissed me off totally... if this was before, I would be like wanting to fix but now things have changed. It is not worth at all. I said sayonara... bye... I fed up!
With CAW... erm I just have to be strong to move on... it is just not worth as well.... Damn... why cant I be happier.... sigh... I am tired... god please.... I want to be happy too.....

As I could not find a pen to note this down so I put it here :)

Regime Day 1:
50 squat
100 Dumbell
20 Push Up
20 Sit Up

This for 30 days with increment :)

At times I do know we wish for something that we can't help. I wish maybe thing between me and AR back to normal... well I should be more mature and knew this will never be the same ever again. But I just hate the fact AR took this lightly and granted. AR's old antique all back... AR cannot wait but AR can make ppl wait... just selfish ain't it? Okay stop about it.

Well another one CAW.... I don't know... constantly on my mind.... but I know nothing will ever happen. Damn it... I should focus on other thing ya.

Soon is my nephew's birthday. Erm I do not think his parents is preparing anthing. Anyhow... gifts been bought. And we will see.

Like I said... Qawie and Me are close friends... we share almost everything... and spend most of the time together.... and like I said he is my close guy fren now.... as it is hard to see my others friends... the guy one... but yes I still lepak with Didi, Jo and Amal.... well... just for fun... and I was bored and came up with this :)

For a start... we share same passion of taking picture hahah same smile hahaha.... here he used my glasses... ermmm similar? hahahah.....

 While in KL, I lent him this t-shirt and he liked it so much.... hence I let him have it..... Nice huh.....

 We even have the same shoe size.... hence I lent him my shoes..... we care and share.......

 Opps... This shade is given by Ziyah but I hardly use it as I do not like using contact lens... hence I 'gave' to Qawie... and he can use it better than me...

 Here... I borrowed his shoes.... :)

 While in Myanmar... I did not do much shopping but that country is famous with Jade hence... I bought this pair of Jade Necklace.... one for him and one for me... Indeed nice!

 This is my old shade.... Got it from Philosophy long time ago... and well... he can put better use so I gave him.....

 Okay.... here see our pants... same... I got this pant for him and then Amal bought me a similar pant... hehheehe

 Another glasses again from UniQlo..... :)

 

Look at our Shirt! heheh its so nice... so we got one each! And ensure we don't wear it at the same time! Hahahah...

 

 

Okay.... so ermm... I do consider him as my good friend too... :) And will always ensure he is on good health physically and mentally!

Okay for the last half a year... I know this person.. and this person has been one of my closest friends. His name is Muhd Qawie... We been thru thick and thin.... And share passion of food... he is my lepak friend la... campur Ziyah and Christina :)

Okay, maybe I have been so negative lately... like I said I was tired... anyhow... look the bright side.... this year since January I been travelling... I was in Myanmar, Vietnam, Singapore.... and was in KL... and oh I am back to Bali now... :)

Ermmm... I did mention that I am back on good term with AR. Things been slowed must say but some are back to where we were before. But not the same. Well I though of giving this another go.... FZ is out of the way... so annoying..... anyhow with CAW is still the same.. as CAW ever said... will never happen.... so well am giving myself chance to be happy. Funny now I am with AR and AR is sleeping and snoring... ahahah and suddenly I think of CAW... sigh...... please..... I don't know....

I just wonder it is hard to hear or see at times you do care.... I wish I can be a stone like you.... sigh...

There are times I think... things I do... I don't know why I keep thinking.... like last night a friend told me that I should get away from this person. I also don't know why I am sticking to this person. I don't know... so I guess maybe it is right. I be on my own. As I at times also question what am I to this person. What I do is it worth it? Sigh seriously I don't know.... So I reckon why don't I get away for a while.

At times, I feel it is a slap on my face.... being the person talking about code and conduct.... and even leading the committee for this for our order. I feel hypocrite as I think I do put personal into work. Ermm.... as always I have many meetings to attend to. Some are important and some are not really as so fruitless most of the time. I knew I attended to one matter too much and till now it is fruitless.... and I been reprimanded and my committee being questioned. I have to deal with all these... for a person!
Again... tomorrow I have meetings at 8.30am one at MoH with the BAHPC and one is RIPAS meeting visit to Women & Child where I am instructed to go. Just checked email.... another meeting at 9am... at JPA/SPA... yes that matter again! I cant skip the 8.30am to accommodate 9am. 9am is for a person.....and I don't know.... I am no body to this person..... I don't feel I am appreciated. Even no thank you for today. Sigh.....
So I don't knw..... really I don't know... can I leave all this!
On other note... I am back in contact wit AR... wont hope high... as things will just be the same..... and well for FZ... we see how we go from here....

SIAPALAH DIRI INI

I cant help to think.... who am I at times to you? I cant help to be a bit hurt.... I do a lot for you... and ermm.... 'This is my darling'..... I look at you.... Almost everyday with you.... whatever in u... mainly come from me.... even ur underwear today.... sigh.....
Why I am always like this... No body.... I planted things just for others to enjoy....
Even with AR before... just for I don't know....
Sigh.... SIAPALAH AKU INI?