Today I feel so irritable. Lucky meeting with Tuan Sabri went well. He did calm me down and I knew what I did for the work was not right. But I just so feel so tired to work it now. I been so negative and maybe I am tired and fed up I guess. With someone... erm... I am badly want to be your friend but I got fed up what we talked about is your thing! Once in a while we should talk about me..... my thing! so boring only ur thing..... life is not just about you okay! Fuck it!
And I don't know I cant help thinking and at times I feel I have different perspective now. Recent event make me wonder and make me think. I might be wrong but I cant help it.
Anyhow.... I do not contact AR for few days and ermmm I felt nothing! I just feel all is wrong. I pray but I feel no peace. Sigh..... God why... am I not deserving of a slight happiness in life. I do good things.... sigh....

My mood is not great today... when I saw someone put something on IG... I was happy.... but the caption erm..... make me wonder what do u see me as.... I don't think its hurt even to say I am a friend... but to say a therapist... erm... after all we been thru... I never say you are my patient..... as I see you more than that.... if just a patient.... I wont do all those thing I did for you.... sigh..... again, time and time again... you make me unappreciated.

And well AR... I just don't get you at times.... and at times I do not know what I am doing with you as I feel at times it just a waste of our time.... all u did and said... just hurtful... I know its been long and I don't hope for anything.....

And also today... I aint sure just course I was sensitive... let me ask... say you knw someone is coming your house and you informed way way before hand.... would you just do whatever you do... take your own sweet time.... and ppl wait... of course not right... despite you do something or out... you would cut it short and try to accommodate. Come... you were out like hrs already... okay la... maybe I should do the same.... like I said my principle you are nicer I am nicer... and when you are not.. why should I care. Don't blame me okay.....

At times... I do feel my frens right... why am I stupid to invest on these two... not even worth! But I cant help it... soft feeling I reckon.... so maybe I should awake from these.... sigh....

I really like this picture... I am glad that this is one of your wishlists! and Insya allah your next wish is coming through... Amin... Happy Bday again Alai Qawie! :)

I threw a dinner and bday surprise for Qawie... It was just small dinner... at Villa Mauri. Ziyah joined us. It was nice to see someone happy... Yes... I do this for my good and dearest friend only... Happy Advanced Bday Qawie... Mwahh...

Nothing much really... back to work and very busy as ever. With AR... how you never cease to annoy and irritate me. You said call... within a minute calling and 20mins later still not picking up and went offline... WTH! I never wrong to call you fucker.... Do learn to respect ppl ok AR!
And well with CAW... I knew maybe it was wrong for me to share the thing just now. I regretted it... we were fine... you were fine and happy til I mentioned the thing. I knew it would make you think.... and I knew how u hated to wait and this would linger and affect your night. But for an instance, don't you ever think... things I do.... I may not be the one in pain here but I had to gather my gut here... thick face asking a person higher up for you. You think it was really hard for you but I was not an easy thing for me too.... everyday non-stop I think about your matter.... constantly.... praying for you endlessly.... it had been so difficult and painful for you... I must say it has been a turbulence for me too... and at times... I put my integrity and dignity at stake... all for your sake... someone I consider as my good friend... sigh....