I spent my friday afternoon resting and decided to watch this movie. It is called 'TANDA TANYA" or '?'. I was told by my sister about this movie and how this movie was banned as it involved sensitive issues. And i was surprised that i actually found it in Brunei and bought it few months ago. Only today i had the opportunity to watch it. My advise is to watch this movie with open heart and mind.

With its Indonesia's religious pluralism theme, the movie plot involves interactions of three families: one Buddhist, one Muslim, and one Catholic. TANDA TANYA stars Revalina Sayuthi Temat, Reza Rahadian, Agus Kuncoro, Endhita, Rio Dewanto, and Hengky Sulaeman. The movie is very intriguing, such as when it shows Muslim man Surya (Agus Kuncoro) participating in Easter festival and playing as Jesus, and when a banser of Nahdlatul Ulama saved a Catholic church from explosion.

The movie was directed by Hanung Bramantyo, portrays religious intolerance in Indonesia. Indonesia is the world's largest Muslim country, but i know it has very little tolerance when it comes to cultures, ethnics and religions.

I know i used to be in the "BLACK HOLE" where i could not sleep, i was questioning everything, i had fears etc. It was not a pleasant experience, it changed me till now. I may not find the answer trully but i know and by watching this movie i do know the anwer i was looking for in my '?'...

  

Few things i like about the movie:

1. This quotation (It was in Malay but translated it):

    "People don't live alone in this world,

    But they live in their own path,

    Every person walks alone,

    Walk, run and sometimes they stop,

    All those paths are different,

    But they lead to same destination,

    Looking for the same thing and ask for the same purpose,

    When he is getting close to the destination, he will realize,

    That along the path he has taken, he will never be alone,

    He always be together, with the thing he is looking for...

    He is with his destination, GOD.... "

2. The three difference verses and philosophies:

•  "ALLAH TIDAK MELARANG KAMU BERBUAT ADIL KEPADA ORANG KAFIR YANG TIDAK MEMUSUHIMU" - QURAN SURAH AL-MUMTAHANAH AYAT 8.
• "KASIHILAH SESAMAMU, SEPERTI KAMU MENGASIHI DIRIMU SENDIRI" - MATIUS 22 36 - 40.
• "CINTA SEJATI TIDAK PILIH KASIH, TIDAK BERSYARAT, TAK MELEKAT DAN SELALU INGIN BERBAGI PADA SESAMA" - BUDDHIST. 

For me, these three mean the same... LOVE EACH OTHER UNCONDITIONALLY!

And watching this movie... i know violence cannot solve problems (I am not trying to be offensive here, i know many today used violence on the basis of using the word JIHAD.. i know not all are right!). All we need is to live together in peace despite the difference, it will make life better. I do not care what people said about this movie, i think it is great, eye opener and we should do more movie like this and not afraid of skeptism, protests from those old-minded people!

Lately I been watching a number of Indonesian movies... seriously... they are good... and like Sorry Malaysian movies... so far and well Indonesian movies are far more honest in storytelling and sincere... comeon... stop about ghost, comedy and those 'Mat Rempit' movies... totally an insult to our brains! Please... I only respect few such as Yasmin Ahmad... or Shuhaimi Baba... otherwise seriously... no one... esp MIG movies! or Skop Productions... or that so call Prof movies... all insulting my brain!

Few days ago... i was watching this movie... entitled... AYAH MENGAPA AKU BERBEDA... by the same actress Dinda Hauw... From SURAT KECIL UNTUK TUHAN... oh my she is so brilliant in her acting.... this movie may not be best but still good. Tearjerking to the max.... and very inspiring...

And then I watched this other movie... MALAIKAT TANPA SAYAP... oh  my maybe typical... but still brilliant. Acting by all... just nice... and always very inspiring... and it made me realised that Surya Saputra is an amazing actor... i just finished watching him in ARISAN 2 (a fun and mad movie).... he is just so brilliant.... so versatile....

And i will review some more... still have TANDA TANYA and TENDANGAN DARI LANGIT to watch. 

Meriah durang ane hahahah just my collections... many went missing actually.....

My cake for the day....

We have the WHD again today... and it was at Tutong. The organiser was more smooth but still reception is poor.... Nevertheless well done...

I read this article .... "ASTRO RIA Temporarily Switched Off". I was just thinking why... and like no compensation such as less payment or anything... like before TV3 or anything under Prima Company channels were taken off also... and still same charges... So unfair... no customer right... but i am lucky la as my card is not Brunei Astro... Its Malaysian and so i still have all the channels!

These collections of coffee is just awesome... now make me wanna get coffee maker!!

Last night, Haslin treated me to a dinner... It was for my belated bday.... Very nice and it was nice as well that Justina joined us too. Feel good abt it.... the thought that count....

I was reading this article about this Malaysian actor... saying that he wanted to change for the better... he is young and yet look at this article:

"Tertarik sebentar dengan artikel dari Gua mengenai Aeril Zafrel yang bertajuk “Aeril Zafrel Enggan Buka Baju, Pegang Tangan OK“."

It is funny... touch or holding a girl is okay for him... but not topless hahaha.... This is like Lawak la beb! Wat fatwa you follow and at the same time explaining how he is 'deepening' his understanding of islam... for me... my my.... i am not religious but like if you understand Islam and wanna be a true muslim... you wont even be an actor... jadi Ustaz jer la!

But all aside... salute you for wanting to change for better... May Allah bless you.

SURAT KECIL UNTUK TUHAN

Again, like i said earlier... Indonesia does make good movie! This is another one! Awesome and it is so great...

The sypnopsis:

Surat Kecil Untuk Tuhan film tells the story of Gita Sesa Wanda Cantika or Keke (Dinda Hauw), a 13-year-old teenage girl who was very lucky girl, because she was born from a very rich family. She have two older brothers and parents who doted on her. In addition, Keke also surrounded by six loyal sidekick who always accompanied him and his life was enriched by the presence of a lover who also loves him so much that is Andy's (Esa Sigit)

Everything seemed so perfect. Until then she was stricke by the cancer. Keke is a person with Rhabdomyosarcoma (Cancer Soft Tissue), first in Indonesia. Beautiful girl that was turned into a "monster" until forced to undergo a series of chemotherapy.

And this was the letter she wrote:

“Tuhan,

Bolehkah aku tersenyum lebih lama lagi
Agar aku bisa memberikan kebahgiaan

Kepada ayah dan sahabat-sahabatku

Tuhan,

Berikan aku kekuatan untuk menjadi dewasa

Agar aku bisa memberikan arti hidupku

Kepada sesiapapun yang mengenalku

Tuhan,

Surat kecilku ini adalah surat terakhir dalam hidupku,

Andai aku bisa kembali

Ke dunia yang kau berikan padaku”

Like i said it was a good movie and i cried a lot while watching it!!

Hi morning... taking a break from my work a while and writing this. I wrote something like this before.... WP messaged stating that she is around. I did not reply yesterday as i was not well and needing my rest. So as today i will be meeting up with Justina and Haslin so i thought may as well invite her for dinner too. I got reply... "oh i already have planned with my friends". Seriously it is ok but my thought was that with us... why if i dont make any plan to meet up then they would be no meet up.... it has to work both ways...  not just one sided. I am already bitter in that whenever i am around in KL... she never had the time so i stopped contacting and like if she in Brunei also... i have to make the effort so i give up now. I am not fussy but like i said it has to be two-ways. Am i right?

My ex gave me a note well a letter... i didnt know how to say or comment.... but bless you... and yes i do still love you too but i know we have to move on.... :)

I went out with my ex just now and these were our foods! :)

I got this belated bday gift from someone... Tnxs!

I told myself before not to be too helpful with people. Okay a friend asked me before about car insurance and i explained that i changed my car insurance to TAIB and through the bank it was cheaper. And so he wanted to do the same. And so he asked for favour. And since one of my cars is needing new insurance i was like well ya lets do it together and may as well. And so like on his FB he asked people whom worked for TAIB and i was like hello... i am helping you with it. All we need to do is to go bank and do it. And since i am doing mine too so wanna come with. He responded saying that he is only free at night... i was like Hello... no bank open at night! Moron! and like oh ya weekend i am back to KB... fine... i was like weekday monday... lunch time or so.... replied... oh monday ... tuesday... i have training... so i was like no time would be good for you then... and hence i did not reply and leave it like that! like i am trying to help here dude! Do it yourself then! and hence reinforced the idea to myself... not to be helpful to ppl again!

These are just some food i had for the few days.... Yum Yum hehehehe...

WAh i am awake already... slept the whole night and up.... although this sleeping time a bit off but it is good as it ensures that i am up for subuh and early for work! I have few cases to see today... Its Thursday... as always it is my Tutong Day as well as NCC... but i will make effort to be in RIPAS to see my OD case that was referred yesterday...



I was conversing on watsapp with my ex just now... my ex was asking when am i free... as my ex got my bday gift for me! I happened to say that i am with my new partner... my ex sounded well... i wont say not happy... but ya maybe... well... my new partner is my old fren... we been togther for a long time with an understanding that we are together... who else... F.... and well at times i dont get why Danny digged out about my past... and last time showed me pix of my ex Q with new partner... well i looked at it... and well like i said i am over it... i felt nothing but i did feel sorry... and well i just the best of luck! :)

I have F now... maybe we are not like a couple but i like the way and thing that we have.... stress free and more to mutual understanding etc....

And oh ya... i wont be joining the group to Miri....

It was sad to hear Aunty Hjh Zaleha passed away last night.. it was unexpected. She was not well and i got the chance to see her in the ward. I did read the casenote. But i didnt expect that she would leave so soon. I remember her kindness especially with food... May she rest in peace... Alfatihah!

It was a long weekend... so i spent my time.. at home... and i watched again Dawson's Creek! my my... i grew up with this series... and well the ending still make me cry!

Do i need love? i need more than that... not materialistic but if someone wants to be with me... now my criteria they have to match me! in terms of brain and money! And of course look hehhehe ....

Went to Bakerlyn for Lunch... and well my food was not impressive... and well i had this cake as dessert and it was not great at all!

I was bored. Went Toy r uS... and got these.. maybe i will make this as my new hobby! And yes i will get more!!

Really AS.... u really made my head spinning! and well good i know how to ignore u! And well seriously u and ur family need a solution!

I know this is not a big thing... i feel that i have no friends... i just realised no one make any effort this yr (apart from Psych Team and my family of course) to celebrate my bday... i mean just a simple one... like i did to AS and A... i wonder is it hard for them... at least a bit... a small cake... at least i feel appreciated.... and with this... seriously... i will not bother abt anyone bday anymore... dont expect anything again frm me.... and i hate the fact when ppl will say... oh as u r so there, out there... we cant do anything as we wont match u... cant get u gift as u have money... u got them all....

I am like... u belanja me kopi and spent it with me... i be like hell happy.... this is nothing... when it is their bdays... i be organising... i be spending... when mine... ppl expect me to spent on them too... aiyo... it is hard to be me....

Another thing... ppl were shocked to learn i am actually single... ppl were like... u r this, u r that... cant be... but it is hard to find one sincere one... or if i like someone.. they b like... i cant, as i am no body... i m like this... you are like that.... at the end of the day... i b with myself if like that.... 'sigh' well i am kinda liking it..... anyhow til later....

It is about 5am... i am awake and i feel no point in going back to sleep. I woke up at abt 4pm yesterday (I know!) and well only managed an hour sleep just now well... like i said my sleeping time has been so f*&^ up lately. Anyhow... i been meaning to write at times i feel i am not up to supervise or lead... not saying i cant but i dont know maybe just that i am not a good teacher. Few things annoyed me... and well... i know Hani and Mui never perfect but seriously i really wish Mui would be back to work with us as despite all she has quality that the others do not have. Especially in helping me doing my admin work.

Well... i know i have got two new staffs... too early to judge.... but one is a bit childish and i think will take effort to help and the others at times... ermmm why you do that for.

My other staffs... R... i dont know what to do... very resistant and whatever i said never follow.... Y the worst... just recently a patient's daughter complaint and i know the patient's daughter is right. Y has no skill in communicating with patients at all. This is not the first time. Arrghhh and i wonder why out of nowhere... Y seeing neuro cases and NCC cases....

I am not saying i am perfect but with the lastest case referred by Dr Connie... it did show the differences between a trainee and a qualified one... Y couldnot even say what do psychologists do? No credibility at all....

And least i say about my kerani... what annoyed me... she will convey messages to me that i already know... one example... on Tuesday... morning at 8.25am... i got a call from Hjh Saim... and guess what at about 9am... My kerani came to me... "Tuan, kemarin Hjh Saim tfun"... i be like... "i know as the phone this morning was from her"... Yes she would not know that was Hjh Saim but like hello i was in office since 7am and only now you mentioned it... what the point... Another example.... I received a call from this OTA... saying our WHD confirmed this date and time.... and then an hour later... she be like..."Tuan, OTA kata WHD date and time" ... i was like i know as the phone called earlier was from the OTA..... and i dont know... i would get the message long before her.... with patients etc... what the hell wrong....

And like 'Buku Kedatangan" never be checked and at times my kerani didnt even fill it up herself...

And what annoyed me... i be the first to arrive at work than anyone!! "Sigh"

Seriously i am fed up!

Oh i just wanna comment on this... i wrote or message a person on FB... and i was thanking for adding...

Me - Tnxs ya

Person - Welcome...

Me - So how ur day?

Person - ?? Jgn la speaking saya x tau

I was like huh... with the ?? to me... are you that blur... okay fair enough your english may not be good but it was just simple... how ur day... jawap ok jer... i replied... saya tanya hari awak macammana...

what make me think was that let say in malay... Takkan la tak pernah study simple english kat sekulah... teruk sangat ker Pelajaran English kat Malaysia ne? benda simple like that also cant reply to. Tak faham.... aiyo... cant be that bad huh! I did say maybe i was ignorant... i mean come on FB bukan main itu ini... simple mcm tu tak faham tak reti la! I am so blessed i think... i may not know mandarin, tagalog or spanish or japanese or korean but i think so far i have no pblem... thank god!

Today would be the day i am going back to work.... and i will hope to be the first to arrive as i wanna show good example...and i hope i wont be too headache with whatever pending etc.... and ya i have to look for Tina to discuss about CDC.... stupid la.... never ending... as if CDC is the whole world! when we on leave no one jaga or replace my place d RIPAS. oh my i am so not going to be angry now and be stressed about it! Damn....

Okay la.... til later and i am thinking to stop student attachment for the time being.... as i am so busy and unable to cope up!

I know this is not my place to stay... but like this person has no remorse... he was caught and he still was smiling like this... for me like so evil... but like i said it is not my place to judge.... anyhow this is one of the members from New Boyz ... Name Zack.... caught with drug and if sentenced... maybe dead sentence... Masya-allah...

I was checking my facebook. Added new friend and as always i msg saying thank you and ask hows ur day... i was shocked to get a reply... "?? jgn la speaking, saya x reti" alamak simple english pun tak faham... teruk la.... no offence.... but it was just simple english... and i wonder didnt you learn at all in School... sorry i know this person is Malaysian but like my my.... it was just simple english.... so teruk la... my god....

I was cleaning my room last night and was just clearing off my wardrobe... and i thought well giving some space to new stuffs and hence... these will go to charity... :)

I went to watch Gerimis Mengundang... i was supposed to watch this in KL but due to a certain boring person... all plan was dictched... anyhow i like the movie... i even thought it matched Ombak Rindu.....

well... At least Kamal Adli matched Olivia in terms of acting.... unlike that telemovie on Astro.... Elfira was so bad to be matched with the awesome Randy Pangalila... it was just so hurtful to watch!

Anyhow... not bad this movie and it was sad....

Boracay

I was checking online for ticket to Manila... and like erm not bad... and if i want to go Manila... i will go to Boracay hehehe but i dont knw the time to go... i wonder October is good? As i dont want to go during Rainy Season!

I thought i am over this... like it will never happen... i am not young anymore.... anyhow... i know i have a dull bday after a dull trip to KL (well although not entirely ...) well... to get this today... i am like wow... you made my day.... thnxs Sab for dropping by and gave me the parcel!.. Thank you so much F.... you are such a gem.... this marks our years of friendship and yes.... our love and our friendship... and tnxs so much... in times i am so in dark.... you lightened up my days..... you never ceased to amaze me.... i love you all i can say.... :) You know what i mean hahahah.....

Seriously thinking where would i go next... I know Japan is not on my list as i am looking into middle east.... and well... in between.... i wanna do solo trip.... Manila is one or maybe Singapore or even Jakarta....

Today is friday... seriously i m bored and i do not know what to do.... maybe just be in my room reading the novels that i bought recently or watch dvds that i bought ages ago and havent watched them.... lets see.....

Today is my birthday... as always i be moody and down... hahaha... got many wishes... glad for that... although some are just annoying....

I know you are my friend Christina... you messaged asking if am free lets go coffee... and i did say yes... and how you reply 'Ok will try' ... what is that? why even asked... and now it sounded like i asked you for coffee.... next time plsss la dont bother....

And my ex... how i wish i be there with you.... you could but what effort you would make.... and how offensive in one of your texts.... "ada me msg u ambil bday present"... sorry thanks for the thought... but like when we broke up... you did the same... "ada brg i got for u from KK, dtg ambil"... I am not worth that.... sorry you dont know me... thats not what i want in life.

And AS... you really such a bitch... at WyWy after you picked me up from Airport... the tagline ppl always use... 'i dont knw what to get for u'... yes ppl complained that they dont knw what i need as i have everything.... i the $$$ to get things for myself... but for me you guys just dont know me... if you are truly my friend... you would know my like....what i want etc.... and AS just passed me a plastic bag.... 'Happy Bday'... can you not be more creative... like what i did to u... like what i did to many... Like what i did to A... took to Zest got little cake n celebrated.... just small but meaningful... and like no one even tot of doing the same to me... it is nice once in a while to be celebrated.... and hence... i decided i will stop doing this to ppl....

But tnxs to my pokerface fren.... make effort called me n like sang Bday song to me ramai-ramai.... see it costs no $$$$ but i really like that.... and ppl asked me why i am so nice to them as they are nice to me! As simple as that!

I dont want anything fancy but like ppl dont get me but they want me to get them.... so unfair!

Hey... it is June 2012. I went to KL for few days. It was supposed to be  group trip but it ended up like just two ppl.. and it is i must say the most boring and dullest trip i been. I rather be on my own. But i did have a good moment... meeting friends... making new friends.

Amazing how you would get to know a person by being with them for few days. Among my whining is that... not everyone is like me... and well i know we shouldnt expect much of people. And i am glad at times, i do change a bit. But one thing that never change... ppl... like i am going KL and yet i will have to make all the efforts to meet with friends there... i mean if ppl are coming to Brunei... definitely i will make effort in welcoming them bla bla... but my god... i just realised i dont really have friends... not to say all.... i mean good enough i was like... hey i am in KL... only respond i get is like welcome... i be like huh thats it? so no meet? and so i leave it like that... just to be blasted later that i dont want to see them... i can never win with these ppl... i m there holidaying of course i had the time to see them.. but i am tired to ask can we meet just to be turned down on the basis we are busy... so i just leave it for them to decide... and well i am glad that this trip i have my pride... you know i was there.... but i wont ask to meet up... and so i only meet up with those really worth....  i only make the effort for those worth the effort.

Well, i wont whine much about this person... but i was expecting it. And the trip really proven to me that i was right. Life is not competing... so what you got ppl number... as if i want those numbers... do u have to be like a kid... "i got bla's number" repeatedly.... i was not looking for anything and if i wasnt there... i bet what would you do. And the incident on the way back... that was the end of it. You are fucking selfish... you knew all along i wanted to get the Swarovski Perfume.. been saying it to you everyday... EVERYDAY!!!! and yet u bought it for urself while you knew they only had one in stock! My you are such an asshole!

Back Brunei.. AS offered to pick me up even that not AS driving asking others. So typical... and like this and that... sorry... you are not on my fav list anymore... and when you were like 'sitaie' when i whined about A... all in my head... you are no better!

Oh my... seriously the trip was the dullest...and i got to stop being friends with all these crap ppl! And another thing... $$$ dont go overseas or holidaying if you dont have it.... like you extended your hotel and yet i had to pay for it.... and like going back to Hotel... didnt you even think of the fare to pay? oh my... sorry i am a lavish traveller... and when you were like oh your cousin got money... i do too and i wont be even staying at that hotel with you if not for you as that is soooo not my standard!!!!

okay ppl... til later....